forgiveness
What is the point of holding a grudge? How is it making your life better? What can you do to change the course for the better?
These are questions I try to ask myself when I have been hurt by someone. I understand that people make mistakes but sometime mistakes are so grave that it is hard to forgive. In this case though, forgiveness may sometimes be the best and only way to bring yourself back to a place of peace.
So how do you know if you can forgive? Forgiveness is crucial in keeping your relationships together but when do you draw the line?
Here is what I try to ponder to answer these questions…
Think long and hard. Most of the time you have been wronged it is easy to forget how important that person is to you. If you really think about it then you will realize that sometime it could end the better good in the relationship by not forgiving.
Try to reason. When you do not think about it as you should your emotions take over reason and you may end up with revenge on your mind or hate in your heart. Emotions are part of what make us humans but can also lead us to do great and terrible things. Take the time to add reason in your decision.
Talk with the person you trust most. If you have someone in your life you can talk to about it whether it be your best friend, mother, sibling then do so. If this same person is the one who wronged you then go to someone else you can trust. Talking it out can lead to making a more rational decision.
Confront the person. In the calmest state possible you must talk to the person. Communication is the key to any type of relationship. Give them a chance to explain and if they cannot justify their actions just give them a chance to apologize. Whether they can admit being wrong should be a big part of your decision.
Forgive but do not forget. When you forgive someone you do not have to become once again ignorant to possibilities. Remember what has happened to be cautious but do not let it affect your daily relationship with that person. If you become paranoid about what could be then the relationship is doomed to fail. Remembering but not assuming the actions will take place again is very important.
Trust again. This is one a lot of people will not agree with. But if you do not learn to trust that person again in spite of their action the relationship will not work. Trust is key in any bond whether an intimate, friendly, or family relationship.
Use logic in your decision to forgive. In my experience there are very few things in this world not worthy of forgiveness. The rest are less important than the relationships you have with those close to you. Everybody makes mistakes, including you, so do not let your emotions get in the way of your relationships. Forgiveness is something only us humans have the rational ability to do. Use it to keep your peace of mind.